Have you ever heard of “Non-violent communication”?

Here is a summary of the “Non-violent communication” process when a conflict arises between you and a student or you and anyone else for that matter. It in in 4 steps:

  1. Just observe the situation objectively
  2. Express your feelings/emotion: I feel + (emotion)
  3. Express your need(s): … because I want …
  4. Put your expectations into words and make sure the other person has understood while rephrasing your words


Example for each step:

  1. Don’t say to a student: “You’re lazy!” because it’s a judgement. Instead, say: “It’s been a month since you last handed in a homework.”
  2. Don’t say to the student: “I have the impression you’re not respecting me! I’m feeling angry. I’m sad to see so much wasted ability.” Instead, say: “I’m feeling anger and sadness too!”
  3. Don’t say to the student: “It makes me mad to see that you’re not handing in your homework!” because it’s not about guilt or rejection of the blame on the other person. Instead say: “I’m feeling anger when I see that you’re handing in your homework because I want you to succeed and fulfil your potential!”
  4. Here is a scenario of what a dialogue between a teacher and student could sound like:

“- I’d like you to do two more exercises for next time on top of the homework which are to be handed in. Can I count on you?

– Yes sir.

– So can you remind me what I’m expecting from you next time?

– … To hand in homework,

– And two more exercises. I imagine that you’ve understood.

– Yes and the two more exercises.”

To find out more, go to https://www.apprendreaapprendre.com/reussite_scolaire/communication-non-violente/


  • Practise the 4 step non-violent communication steps when you are in a conflict with a student or anyone

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